Warriors and Companions
by BlueEyedGryphon
Summary: This is an intentionally silly story based on the entirely rediculous notion that Vastra and Jenny go back in time and meet Xena and Gabrielle. Cuz why not! Should be mostly fun, but maybe a plot will develop...


The TARDIS landed outside of 13 Paternoster row. The Doctor and River left the blue box and knocked on the door. A cheerful brown haired maid answer. "Ah, 'ello Doctor, I see you parked outside this time".

"He always means to park outside, the TARDIS just doesn't listen to him," River stated. "I was driving this time." She winked.

"I see," Jenny responded with a grin, "Please come in." The maid opened the door wide enough for them to enter and stood behind it. She led them to the drawing room, then excused herself. "I shall let Madam know we have company".

When she returned she was arm in arm with a green lizard wearing a dress.

"Madam Vastra" River greeted.

"Professor Song, Doctor, a pleasure to see you again," Vastra answered graciously, "What can we do for you?"

"I was thinking, it was time to properly thank you for all you've done for us, particularly at Demon's Run."

"There is no need to thank us, I owed the Doctor a great debt." Vastra stated.

"We would like to treat you to dinner anyway." River stated.

"I'm told this is called a 'double date'," the Doctor informed with a smile. "It's a thing couples do together on occasion."

"Oh, I see, a quaint human tradition". Vastra responded, attempting to voice her understanding. Jenny glared at her though.

"We ain't so quaint!" Jenny told her lover.

"Pardon my insensitivity, dear"

Jenny nodded her forgiveness, then turned to the time travelling couple before them. "Where are we goin' then?" she asked.

The Doctor answered, "The question is not just where, but when".

"Oh!" Jenny said excitedly, "Will it be some place romantic?"

"Of course!" River replied.

~.~.~.~.~

The TARDIS landed.

"Where are we?" Jenny asked

"When are we?" Vastra added.

"Well, if I've done this correctly we are parked right outside the Taj Mahal the year it was completed" River informed them

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"What, It's romantic" River swooned.

Jenny nodded in agreement "Ya, a king builds a beau'iful monument for 'is departed wife." Jenny approved. "Very romantic".

Vastra shrugged.

The Doctor opened the door and peered out. "No Taj Mahal" he reported, "we appear to be in a forest?"

"What?" River exclaimed as she too peered out the door of the TARDIS.

The Doctor whispered in her ear, but loud enough for the other couple to hear "Maybe she doesn't like you anymore".

River scowled back. "Maybe she's dropped us off right where we are needed." She defended. "She's reliable like that".

They exited the blue box, followed by Jenny and Vastra. The group started to walk along the road. Jenny mildly disappointed, Vastra smiling with anticipation. Adventure was far more exciting than romance to the Silurian.

They walked along a nearby road until they reached an intersection with a road sign. Etched into a rotting piece of wood was the city name "Corinthe".

"Corinthe" the Doctor read, "We must be in ancient Greece!" He informed.

"Brilliant! Do you think we'll meet any Amazons?" asked Jenny.

"I'd be wary of them," River said, "Not the most friendly sort to outsiders," she explained. "Unless you're willing to share…certain skills". The Doctor blushed.

Vastra was looking into the forest. Her keen sense of hearing heard leaves rustling in the woods. Many leaves, being stepped on by many people. "We're surrounded." She warned.

Suddenly a group of 10 well armed men encircled the group. Vastra could tell by their odor they had not bathed recently. Several of the men held up swords. A man with a long beard seemed to be the leader. "Give us all your gold!" He demanded.

"We have nothing of value," River told him.

"Then we'll take the girl, the little one," he said, eyeing Jenny.

Vastra defensively stepped between the group and the petite brown haired woman. "No, you will not," she told them defiantly. She took her claws out of the gloves she normally wore, momentarily lamenting leaving her katanas behind.

The men weren't intimidated by the Silurian's unusual appearance or vicious looking features. "Hah! Your claws versus 10 swords!" he sneered and chuckled. The rest of the men laughed as well.

"And my tongue" the green lady remarked before it swiftly left her mouth and poisoned the nearest man, incapacitating him.

This was enough to surprise the men, but not enough to change their minds. "Get them!" yelled the leader.

Vastra was able to incapacitate another two men before they got close enough that she had to start dodging their blows. She disarmed one man and threw him at another one. She then picked up a sword and moved quickly to defend against another one of the thugs.

I her peripheral vision she saw to figures join her in the fight against the men. When she disarmed another man Jenny picked up a sword as well. They quickly debilitated all of the men. Jenny looked down sadly at the many unconscious bodies. "I hope we didn't kill them" she said.

"They should be fine, just some aches and pains when they wake up. That's what they get for threatening my Jenny!" Vastra responded. Jenny smiled at her in return.

"Are you two alright?" asked a voice behind the pair. Vastra and Jenny turned to find a short blond woman in a short green outfit carrying a staff and a tall brunette in armor.

"Yes, quite," Vastra responded. "Thank you for your aid".

"Looked like you may not have needed it" said the blond, "that is some unusual armor you are wearing."

Humans see what they want to see, Vastra thought to herself, "It is not armor, it is my skin, I'm a reptile woman from the dawn of time and this is my…" she was still uncertain how to refer to Jenny. Maid wasn't quite right. Jenny's role as maid was mostly a farce they kept for the sake of public image in the Victorian age. They were still in the early stages of exploring their romantic relationship.

"Companion," Doctor offered.

"Yes, my companion," Vastra affirmed.

"Jenny" the petite brunette introduced herself, "My name is Jenny".

"Gabrielle," the short blond introduced herself as well, "And this is my 'companion', Xena". The use of the word earned the blond a raised eyebrow from warrior.

"I'm River," River interjected, "and this is my husband the Doctor."

"Nice to meet you all" said Gabrielle.

Jenny looked at the women. "Are you amazons?" she asked.

"I am, not Xena though," Gabrielle explained. "Why?"

"I just always wanted to meet an amazon" Jenny said wistfully. Vastra looked a little jealous when she said it.


End file.
